While most queers know the "T" in GLBT stands for Transgender, we quickly show our ignorance when talking about "T". The biggest difference between the "T" and the "GLB" is that while the terms Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual have to do with one’s sexual orientation, Transgender refers to gender identity (i.e., at a deep inner level, do I perceive myself as being a man, or a woman--or in some way am I both, even enjoying myself as either gender?). Despite these differences, our similarities are greater, for each of us is a gender warrior--we are not the boys and girls we were supposed to be. As such, to the conservative Christian who has been successfully indoctrinated, we are symbolic of the downfall of all that is good and decent. Gratefully, with the ongoing help of my editor, I am too big a person to feel the same way about them!
Here's a definition of Transgender that a transgenderist friend of mine gave me, saving me from the lame definitions I had found:
Transgender is a term used to describe someone who presents a gender image different from what society would expect from the person’s perceived biological status. That difference may be achieved through wearing the clothing and/or adopting other appearances and traits of the opposite gender. And the difference may be presented only occasionally (a cross-dresser); be the predominant gender identity of the person (a transgendered person); or be the person’s full time gender role, with or without sex reassignment surgery (a transsexual). (Source unknown)
Transgender persons know that even though genitalia usually announces one’s gender, genitalia doesn’t equate gender, for gender awareness comes from deep within—one’s inner awareness. No surgery or tragic accident can change this fact, for we are who we are—and we know who we are from the core of our being. Therefore, neither adding a penis, nor taking one away has any bearing on whether one is a man or a woman--or in some way both, for gender is internal, not sewn on. As for the creation of this inner awareness, many scholars say that gender identity is firmly in place by the time a child is five years old, but how this comes about we just don’t know. As genetic research advances, answers will come, but for now we’re stuck with the old "nature vs. nurture" blame game. Is it really such a big intellectual leap to realize that some individuals have genitalia-gender combos that don’t fit the standard categories?
From the time they are young children, transgender persons start to learn the heartbreaking lessons of not fitting into standard categories. Puberty brings the further heartbreak that one’s body is changing—but in all the wrong ways. Dating presents another huge problem, for relationships a self-aware transgender teen would internally perceive as heterosexual will be viewed by others—including one’s date—as homosexual and vice versa.
To the extent a transgender teen lacks self-awareness, his or her internal debate will likely focus around the misleading issue of sexual orientation. Eventually, the ongoing tension between a transgender person’s internal and external worlds can lead the person to wonder if they are mentally ill. Others may try to cope with the tension through abusing alcohol and drugs. If their despair intensifies, some transgender persons have gone down the tragic pathways of self-mutilation and/or suicide. Yet, this isn't the only story, for as more and more transgender persons are finding their way to self-acceptance, an empowered transgender community has emerged that is leading the way to a better tomorrow.
Needless to say, if you’re struggling with anything in life, help is available—so don’t give up now. Regarding being transgender, you’ll want to start networking ASAP, so that you can immediately end the lie that you are all alone. Many people are willing to help you on your life’s journey, so don’t try to be the brave loner. If networking sounds too hard, relax—it’s gets no worse than making a few anonymous phone calls. After that, maybe you’ll choose to let someone inside your pain, even as one day you’ll help someone else.